Can We Talk?
by gategirl
Summary: It's late one night and Sam & Jack are contemplating their relationship.
1. Late night call

TITLE: Can We Talk?

AUTHOR: Liz

EMAIL: any one who wants it

CATEGORY: S/J

SPOILERS: Nope

RATING: G

DISCLAIMER: Characters and anything show related don't belong to me. I  
have made no money from this and wrote it for entertainment purposes  
only.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Feedback is always appreciated.

* * *

Jack sat on his couch, a beer in his hands, his mind wandering. He was replaying a conversation he'd had with Sam over a month ago.

"Pete gave me this."

Jack's gaze fell to the box. He reached for it, opening the small box with a creak, his eyebrows arching when he saw the ring inside.

"People normally wear these on their fingers . . . "

"I haven't said yes."

He looked down again at the box. "And yet . . . you haven't said no."

"I told him I needed to think about it."

Jack drew a breath. "And . . .?"

He sat the box down on her table.

"That was two weeks ago . . . "

"Ah . . . "

"You know, all these years I've been concentrating on work, I just assumed that one day I would - - "

"Have a life?"

"Yeah . . ."

Sam took a deep breath, her eyes locking on his. "What about you? If things had been different . . . " Jack stared at her, his eyes

unreadable. "I wouldn't be here . . ."

Jack remembered it clearly, each word echoed in his heart. He could still feel her eyes on his, standing there wanting him to give her the reason, wanting him to tell her not to marry Pete. He wanted to, he'd never wanted anything so badly in all his life, but something inside him stopped him, told him that she deserved so much more than he could give her. She was the one woman he couldn't live without and the only woman he couldn't have. Jack sighed heavily and downed the rest of his beer quickly.

* * *

Sam lay wide awake in bed next to Pete, fingering her engagement ring absentmindedly. Her mind was far away, in another place, another time. She had known long before that moment. She'd known she was in love with Jack O Neill. But when they had stood on opposite sides of that force shield and he had refused to leave her, that was the exact moment she'd known just how deep her love ran. He had fought so hard to try and save her, knowing there was no way he could. He was the kindest, bravest man she'd ever known, and she loved him more than her own life.

Her heart ached at the memories that stirred within her. And she felt an overwhelming wave of love rush over her. Sam slid out of bed, a tear sliding down her cheek as she looked down at her sleeping fiance, knowing how hard it would be for him when she told him.

Sam crept silently to the living room and picked up the phone, dialing his number. She held her breath as the line began to ring, silently hoping he wouldn't answer, terrified of what he might say.

But he picked up the phone after the second ring. Sam felt her heart skip a beat.

"Hello Sam," Jack said quietly.

Sam let out the breath she had been holding and sat on her couch before speaking.

"Hello Jack. Can we talk?"


	2. Running

Author's Note: Back by popular demand ... ;-) I just want to say thank you to everyone who took the time to review. It means a lot to know that my writing is appreciated. I only intended this to be a ficlet but you all asked for it to continue, so I hope I can live up to what you all want to see. Just remember, you asked for it :-) . Read and review please.

* * *

Jack sat at the head of the table in the briefing room, absentmindedly tapping his pen on the table. It was several days after the night Sam had unexpectedly called, turning his life upside down. He was supposed to be listening to a mission briefing, but his mind was busy reliving that night.

"_Hello Jack."_

She only needed to say those two words and Jack felt his heart race, his blood pounding so hard in his ears it had sounded like a battalion of Jaffa on patrol. His name on her lips, her voice a breathy whisper, he'd never heard anything so sweet. He'd dreamed of this countless times. Hearing her voice call his name, hearing the words she spoke. His heart flooded with emotions he didn't think he was capable of feeling anymore. Then, it all came crashing down around him.

Jack shook himself from his silent reverie and focused his attention back on the briefing he was currently supposed to be paying attention to.

"We can't just let the Fensia people go on sacrificing themselves to this Goa'uld Jack. Not when we can stop it. Not when we can tell them the truth," Daniel was saying. Jack nodded distractedly, his eyes straying in Sam's direction.

Sam was deliberately focusing her eyes on anything else rather than Jack. She could feel his eyes on her. His gaze burned into her, but still she refused to look up. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction. She wouldn't let him see what he had done to her.

"Jack," Daniel said exasperatedly. "Can we go or not?" Daniel asked, bringing Jack's full attention back to him. "Yes Daniel, you can go," Jack said patiently. "Take Sg-11 with you." Jack stood up, signaling the end of the briefing.

Sam rose quickly, trying to get clear of the briefing room before Jack could say the words she knew were sure to come. "Carter, hang back a minute," the words came, and Sam halted in her tracks with a barely audible groan. She turned around and her eyes immediately locked with his, his expression inscrutable, his eyebrows raised. "Sir?" Sam asked coolly. "In my office," he said walking away.

Sam followed slowly, her feet refusing to move, her legs feeling leaden. She was dreading the conversation that she knew would come as soon as the door to his office shut. Sam walked past him into his office and stood in front of his desk. The door shut with a solid click, and suddenly they were encased in complete silence.

Jack came to sit in the chair behind his desk, looking at the strained expression on Sam's face. He could tell that she was struggling to reign her emotions. "Have a seat," Jack said, gesturing to one of the chairs opposite him. Sam shook her head, her stance rigid, her gaze fixed on the wall behind him. "No thank you sir. I'd prefer to stand," she said in a clipped voice, sounding every bit the trained soldier she was.

Jack could feel his patience wearing thin. "Sit Colonel!" He ordered roughly, his control slipping. Sam's eyes flashed with anger at the order, but she complied, sitting stiffly. He took a deep breath, lost for a moment in the memory of the last time he'd made her angry at him. She hadn't spoken to him for weeks, and it had driven him up the wall. She hadn't been as angry then, he had never seen her this angry before.

"I'm not going to apologize," he stated simply, his voice rough with emotion. Sam stared straight ahead, her eyes unblinking, her mouth set in a firm straight line. She'd offered him everything he'd ever wanted, and it had all disappeared in one terrible moment. One moment he would give his life to take back. His heart ached with regret and he would give anything to take back the pain he'd caused her. But he'd done nothing wrong, and there was no way he was going to say he had.

She just sat there in silence, staring into the void behind him, refusing to look at him. "If that's all sir," she said after several seconds of silence. "I have a mission to prepare for," she bit out, rising to her feet. Sam turned and headed for the door. She made it all the way to the door, her hand resting on the knob, before he spoke. He spoke quietly, his voice full of sorrow. "We have to talk about it sometime Sam. You can't just run from this."

Sam squeezed her eyes shut tightly, her hand clutching the knob tightly. The tears she'd been reigning in with a savage strength broke free and ran down her cheeks. "Watch me," she whispered before turning the knob and walking out of his office.

* * *

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	3. Clarity

Authors Note: Sorry for the confusion in the last chapter. I hope that I've cleared all that up for those of you who were confused. And I hope that you are all enjoying the story so far. If anyone is still confused and has any suggestions on how to clear it up please e-mail me. I would love to hear from you. And just FYI, flashbacks are in italics.

* * *

Sam sat in the team room, her pack at her feet, lacing up her boots. Her mind was racing, trying to find a solution to her current situation. She'd even settle for a little clarity. 

Things had gotten so messed up. She'd been so unyielding, so unable to see past the blind panic she'd felt, that she'd shut him out, blamed him for everything. It was easier that way, easier than admitting that it was as much her fault as it was his. Instead she'd reacted out of anger and pride, and had run instead of trying to fix the problem. She'd give anything to go back and do it differently. To try and see things rationally.

Sam felt her stomach churn as her mind took her back to that night, the pain and humiliation flooding back to her.

_Sam felt her hand start to shake as she dialed his number. She listened to the phone ringing, prayed that he wouldn't answer, that she could put this off a little while longer. Her heart raced a mile a minute and her mouth suddenly felt very dry as he answered the phone. _

_How could she even begin? _

_How could everything she felt, everything she wanted, finally be voiced?_

_How could she tell him?_

"_I hope I didn't wake you sir," she said, wincing as she fell so easily back on her military training. Sam swore she could hear his eyebrows raising and his mouth quirking at the ends in a smile that had haunted her dreams for more years than she would admit._

"_Not at all Carter," he said her name playfully, his tone one of amusement. "I was wide awake. What's up?" He asked. _

_As he said those two words Sam felt what little courage she did have vanish and she panicked, saying the first thing she could think of. _

" _I was just calling to see if you had gotten a chance to look over the report I gave you about the device SG-9 brought back from their recent mission. It really has some fascinating aspects. I mean, the energy capabilities alone far surpass what we've been able to extrapolate from the naquada reactor." Sam continued to talk about the device in increasing detail and Jack felt an all too familiar haze settling around him._

"_Is this really what you called me at," Jack quickly glanced at the glowing numbers on the vcr, "one o' clock in the morning to talk about?" He asked, cutting her techno ramble off abruptly._

_Sam sat silent for a few seconds before answering. "No," she said quietly. _

"_Well?" He asked expectantly. _

_Sam took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and said softly, "I can't do this anymore. This isn't working." _

_Jack felt his heart lurch at her words. She couldn't really be saying what he thought she was, could she?_

"_Can't do what?" Jack asked innocently, his heart thudding so hard in his chest he could barely breathe. _

"_I can't go on pretending," she answered. "We've spent so long pretending, dancing around each other. I don't want to pretend anymore Jack." _

_Jack felt his heart race as he heard her words. She couldn't know just how deeply her words affected him, what hearing her say his name did to him each and every time._

"Sam," Daniel called, popping his head into the team room, startling her.

"Yeah Daniel," she said turning to face him. "What is it?" She asked.

"It's time to go. Everyone's waiting for you in the gateroom," Daniel said. Sam nodded and quickly finished tying her boots, grabbing her pack she headed for the door. As she moved past him Daniel stopped her, putting his hand on her arm.

"Is everything alright Sam?" He asked, his expression one of concern.

"I'm fine Daniel," she said, pasting a smile on her face. "Let's get going." She walked out the door, Daniel following close behind, his expression now held both concern and confusion.

He could tell something wasn't right with Sam. They'd grown closer after Janet had died, and she'd begun to confide in him, like she had in Janet. But for some reason she didn't want to talk to him about what was bothering her, which bothered Daniel a lot.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Daniel asked again.

"I'm great Daniel," she said, turning and flashing him a quick smile over her shoulder, her eyes never meeting his. Daniel nodded to himself. Yep, something was definitely going on.


	4. Hope

Jack sat at his desk, his head buried in his hands. Everything was so messed up. At least before he and Sam had always been friends. That, if nothing else, was always there. But now, he wasn't even sure there was that.

A quick knock sounded on Jack's door, interrupting his thoughts. He lifted his head to see Teal'c standing there. "Are you unwell O' Neill?" Teal'c asked. In all the time Teal'c had known him he had never seen O' Neill look so defeated as he did at this moment. Jack brushed the question aside with a wave of his hand.

"Something I can do for you Teal'c?" Jack asked, busying himself with a stack of paperwork on his desk. "It is I who wish to help you," Teal'c said coming fully into the room. Jack raised his eyes to meet Teal'cs, his eyebrows arching. "Oh? With what?" Jack asked, dropping the paperwork and leaning back in his chair.

Teal'c stood in front of the desk, his hands clasped behind him. "I have observed a change in both you and Colonel Carter," Teal'c began. Jack groaned loudly, scrubbing his hands over his face. "Isn't it about time for that mission of yours?" Jack asked, checking his watch and rising to his feet. Teal'c cocked his head to one side and raised his eyebrows.

Jack sighed and came to stand in front of him. "Look T, I know what you're trying to do. And it's appreciated, really. But I'll be just fine." He assured Teal'c. "Now get going. Everyone's waiting for you."

* * *

Jack watched her from the control room, his eyes glued to her. She glanced back and for a brief moment their eyes locked. His heart jumped in his chest, his pulse hammering in his ears. The very next second she turned away from him and the spell was broken.

"Chevron 4 encoded," the sergeant at the controls intoned. Jack stood there, watching until chevron seven had locked and the gate room filled with an ethereal glow. Jack stood there and watched SG-11 enter the shimmering horizon, SG-1 following close behind.

Before stepping through the gate Sam turned and caught his eye. Her mouth lifting at the corners in a small smile. Jack smiled back at her, feeling hope enter his heart.

* * *

Jack paced the expanse of the briefing room. He had given Daniel explicit instructions to check in every two hours. It was normal for Daniel to be a little overdue, when he would get distracted by ruins or run across some _really_ fascinating indigenous people. But he had never been this late before. It was an hour past the scheduled check in time and Jack was worried.

'It could be nothing.' He tried telling himself, pacing faster. But he knew that something was wrong. He just knew, deep in his gut.

Jack ran down the stairs and stormed into the control room. "Dial PJX-785," he barked at the lieutenant manning the controls. "Yes sir," the lieutenant said, hurriedly punching keys on the keyboard.

Jack watched as the gate spun to life, each chevron slowly locking into place. As the seventh chevron locked into place the gate opened. "Bring up the MALP," Jack ordered impatiently, as though the lieutenant should already know what to do.

The lieutenant pushed a few more keys and the MALP came online. "Whoa!" The lieutenant exclaimed staring at the feed from the MALP.

Jack felt his stomach drop to his feet as he leaned closer to the monitor, not wanting to believe what he was seeing.

* * *

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	5. Trapped

Authors Note: I apologize for not updating sooner. There have been some personal things going on in my life that have prevented me from writing. Anyway, I hope you all like this chapter. There's at least two more chapters, maybe three, to come. I tried to make this chapter as long as I could, but I can never really tell how long it is until I post it. Please be patient with me, I have a lot of other fics currently in progress and I will try to update as soon as I can. Reviews help speed the creative juices, so don't forget to hit that little button at the bottom. Happy reading :-)

* * *

They were sorely outnumbered and the Jaffa were closing in on them. SG-11 had been caught right away. Sam, Daniel, & Teal'c had gone to the village to try and talk to the locals, convince them that they were worshiping a false god. Sam had ordered SG-11 to stay behind at the gate, to watch their backs just in case anything went wrong. 

Everything happened so fast. Before anyone knew what was happening chaos had erupted. Daniel was talking to Jareen, the leader of the Fensia people, when Sergent Bale stumbled into the village bleeding and badly wounded. He fell to the ground at Sam's feet, blood gurgling out of his mouth. Sam quickly knelt beside him, checking the extent of the damage. "What happened?"

"There were too many," Bale choked. "The rest of my team are ... dead," he said, every word becoming more labored. His eyes started to roll back inside his head but with visible effort he brought his attention back to Sam. "They're coming ... get ... out now ... not far ... behind," he muttered beginning to lose consciousness. "Who's coming?" Sam asked. "Ja ... ffa ...," he whispered before his eyes rolled back and his head lolled to one side. Sam quickly checked his pulse, not finding one, she stood quickly. "Let's move," she ordered.

Jaffa spilled into the city seconds after SG-1 left. A Jaffa came to stop in front of Jareen. "Where are they?" He asked, his voice deep and harsh. Jareen lifted a shaky hand and pointed. "They just left," he said with a quivering voice. "That way," he pointed in the direction SG1 had taken.

* * *

They had been evading patrols of Jaffa for nearly two hours. Teal'c had taken the lead automatically, his instinct to protect kicking in. Teal'c led them through the dense forest, his eyes constantly searching the tree line, alert for any signs of activity. Their group was small, which made it easier to hide. But the Jaffa had been searching in grids, quickly boxing them in. It was only a matter of time before they were found. Sam knew that as soon as they were overdue Jack would've tried to make contact. By now he had to be aware of the situation. He would send reinforcements, Sam knew that. But would they come in time? 

Teal'c stopped, holding up one hand, signaling the group to stop. Sam held her P-90 ready, her eyes scanning the terrain for any signs of the enemy. Teal'c motioned for her to join him. Quickly & as quietly as possible Sam made her way to where Teal'c stood, his head cocked to one side. "What is it Teal'c?" Sam asked, glancing around before her gaze settled on Tealc's.

"I believe they had called off the search for now. It would be extremely difficult to search in the darkness," Teal'c said, looking up at the quickly darkening sky. "We should seek shelter for the night."

* * *

Jack slammed the phone down in it's cradle. "Bunch of hypocritical tight-ass bureaucratic ..." He fumed. A knock sounded on the door, cutting off his tirade. "WHAT?!?" He yelled. The door swung open to reveal a very nervous looking Sergent Walter Harriman. Normally Jack would've apologized, but he was in no mood to placate anyone. The pentagon wouldn't authorize a rescue mission, and Jack was beyond pissed off. They wanted to send someone down to assess the situation before they would even consider doing anything. And Jack knew he couldn't wait. 

"You're needed in the gate room sir," Sergent Harriman said backing slowly out the door.

* * *

They had set up camp in the center of a group of tight-knit trees. Teal'c had offered to take the first watch. Sam lay on the hard ground, her pack under her head wide awake, unable to stop the flow of thoughts filling her head. 

"_I can't go on pretending._" Sam heard the words she had spoken echo through her head. "_We've spent so long pretending, dancing around each other. I don't want to pretend anymore Jack." _Sam squeezed her eyes shut as the memories of that night claimed her again.

_Sam waited in silence, hearing his breathing, knowing he didn't have a clue what to say. Her heart felt like it would burst from the suspense. "Please say something. Anything," she pleaded. When he spoke his voice sounded strained. "What about Pete?" He asked. Sam closed her eyes, a tear escaping at the thought of hurting Pete. Pete was a good man, and he didn't deserve this. But she had spent far too many nights thinking about Jack, wishing she was with him instead. She couldn't keep pretending. "He's not you Jack," she whispered. "He could never be you." She leaned back on the couch, her head resting on the wall behind it. She wiped the tear from her face and cradled the phone closer to her ear. " Sam, I ..."_

Sam woke with a start, Teal'c gently shaking her shoulder. "Colonel Carter," he said shaking her. She turned over and faced Teal'c. "Is it my watch already?" She asked with a groan, moving her body into a sitting position. "I feel like I've only been asleep for ten minutes." Teal'c looked at her, his face covered with concern. "Are you well Colonel Carter?" He asked softly. Sam brought her eyes up to meet his. "Yeah Teal'c, I'm fine," she said giving him a strange look. "Why?" Teal'c cocked his head to the side and raised his eyebrow. "You were crying in your sleep."

* * *

Jack walked into the gate room expecting to see some ambassador from another planet he was supposed to greet, or something equally as annoying that he didn't have time for. Instead he saw all the SG teams that weren't currently deployed had formed, standing at attention. Colonel Murphy, a man Jack had served with for several years stepped forward. "We heard about the situation, Sir. We'd like to volunteer to help SG-1." Jack looked at the men and women standing before him, ready to fight hundreds of Jaffa and maybe lose, to try and save his team. "Thank you all." Jack said, his chest swelling with pride. 

He knew allowing these soldiers to go through the gate was in direct violation of the orders he'd received only ten minutes before. But he also knew that if they weren't already, his team would be in serious trouble soon. Judging by the amount of Jaffa he'd seen he knew it was only a matter of time before they were captured. And he knew first hand what kind of torture the Goauld would inflict if they were caught. There was no way he was going to let that happen to them, not without a fight. He glanced at the teams that were assembled in the gate room. "SG units 9, 4, 7, and 14, gear up." Jack ordered.

He looked back at Colonel Murphy, who was still standing in front of him. "Colonel, this is not an authorized mission. In fact the pentagon has ordered me not to attempt a rescue. But there is no way in hell I am going to leave SG-1 out there to die." The colonel nodded. "I'm with you sir. My team will be geared up and ready in ten minutes." Jack shook his head. "I need you to assume command of this facility Murphy. I need someone that I can trust to look out for things while I'm gone." Murphy paled, he looked like he was ready to lose his lunch. "Gone, sir? Where are you going?" He asked, his voice coming out a higher pitch than he would have liked. "To get my team."

* * *


	6. Rescue

Authors Note: It seems that there are still some who are a little confused by the story. I'd just like to take a minute and respond to a review of Chapter 3. I did not intend, and didn't think I implied, that anyone should think that Sam is blaming Jack for her engagement to Pete. Or that in any way it's Jack's fault. I apologize to anyone who may have thought that was what I was saying. Anyway, this chapter should hopefully clear up why Sam got upset the way she did. Hope you all like it. Read and Review.

* * *

Jack stood in the team room, hurriedly packing his gear. He couldn't stop the thought that came unbidden to his mind. 'You're too late.' Fear and panic gripped his heart like a vise. He'd waited too long. Sam, Daniel, & Teal'c were all he had left. 'I'll never forgive myself if …' He cut his thoughts off viciously. He couldn't let himself think like that. Now was not the time to lose it. He needed to stay focused on getting them home; he couldn't allow anything to get in the way of that. He'd already wasted so much time.

"_We've wasted so much time Jack." _Her voice echoed in his head and the vise on his heart tightened painfully. _"Sam, have you thought this through?" He hated asking the question, but he needed to make sure she knew what she was doing, what the consequences could be for her. He could retire. He'd done it before and would happily do it again if it meant that he'd have a chance with her. But for her things could get ugly, rumors, innuendo. He had known he was falling in love with her almost from the very beginning. She'd walked into that briefing room so headstrong & full of the need to prove herself. Jack knew that being a woman in the air force meant she constantly had to prove that she was just as good if not better than the men. He had no interest in playing big brother, having to watch over her, protect her. So he'd pushed her, just a little, to see if she could stand on her own. And she had stood her ground, even managed to knock him down a notch. He had to fight to keep the smile from creeping across his lips. _

_He had loved her, for close to seven years, despite himself. "It's all I think about," she answered. "I don't want to keep hiding how I feel." Jack heard her words and they sang in his heart. But his head was at war with his heart. His heart wanted so badly to tell her he loved her, to tell her that he would do whatever it took for a chance to be with her. His head screamed at him that he would ruin her, like he had ruined Sara and Charlie. His throat constricted at the memory of his son and he raised the beer he'd been clutching tightly in his hand shakily to his mouth. The alcohol burned its way down his throat chasing away the last remnants of memory. _

_He couldn't let that happen, he couldn't ruin Sam. "You deserve someone better." Jack felt the words abandon his mouth, leaving a sick feeling in his stomach. His mouth filled with the acrid taste the words left behind. "You deserve so much ...," his voice trailing off into silence. It killed him, every word that came out between his lips, as sure as a bullet to the heart. But he had to. For her._

* * *

Sam sat at the edge of the clearing watching the tree line, Daniel and Teal'c resting behind her. Her eyes darted over the surrounding forest checking for any movement, but her thoughts were light years away.

_Sam felt her heart drop into her stomach. She couldn't believe the words that were coming through the phone. Had she fooled herself into believing in something that wasn't there? Had she read more into the moments that they had shared over the years? Sam felt her face flame and was glad for the darkness that swallowed her. "I understand," she said after several long minutes of silence, her voice breaking as tears rolled down her face. "I'm sorry to have bothered you sir." Sam could barely control her breathing, her chest heaving, her heart felt like it would explode. How could she have been so wrong? _

"_Sam," Jack said, his voice rising, his tone panicked. "Sam, wait. That's not what I meant. You don't understand." But Sam's mind screamed only one explanation and it echoed through her not allowing reason or intellect to invade. She'd been wrong. That was when she heard it, her heart stopping and her breath catching in her chest. "Jack, come back to bed." Sam heard a woman's voice purr in the background. Sam heard her own small cry of pain, but it sounded foreign to her ears. "Sam." Jack's voice was pleading now. But his voice barely registered as Sam shakily lowered the phone to it's cradle. _

"_What the hell is going on?" Pete asked stepping from the shadows. Sam whirled around to face him, knowing by the look on his face he'd heard more than enough of her conversation to already know the answer._

Sam's attention was brought back to the present as she spotted a group of Jaffa moving silently through the forest about half a click from them. She quickly went to Daniel then Teal'c, shaking them out of their restful states. She put a finger to her lips, motioning for them to stay quiet. "We've got company," she whispered.

* * *

Jack stood in the gate room, watching the big metal ring spin. He knew that the gate would be guarded. He'd been on enough missions to know they never left it unguarded. Jack knew that as soon as they stepped through it was a crapshoot whether any of them would be walking away at all. But he had no choice. He tensed as the last chevron locked into place, the gate opening with a loud _whoosh_. Jack checked his P-90, making sure the clip was locked into place, before turning to the teams gathered around him. "There are a lot of Jaffa waiting on the other side. They'll try to kill anyone who steps through. And some here will not make it home," he said looking around at all the faces of the men and women who had volunteered to attempt the rescue. "I have to go," he said quietly. "But none of you do. Anyone who wants to stand down; no one will blame you." Jack looked at the faces encircling him, all set with the same grim determination, and knew no one would take him up on his offer. Jack gave a short nod. "As soon as you get through the gate, get clear and take cover as quickly as you can."

* * *

They were trapped. The Jaffa were rapidly closing in on their position. The three of them sat motionless in the shadows of the trees. Watching, waiting. Hoping the Jaffa would pass by and they could escape unnoticed. Sam held her breath as one of the Jaffa strayed from the rest of the group, making his way towards the group of trees they had taken shelter in. In her peripheral vision Sam could see Teal'c stiffen, knew he was ready to fight, and her finger tightened on the trigger, her gun aimed at the approaching Jaffa.

Sam heard the sound of gunfire coming from the distance, the Jaffa who had been almost on top of their position turned towards the noise. "Jaffa.," their leader called, running in the direction of the gunfire. The rest of the Jaffa took off after him leaving SG-1 alone.

Sam breathed a sigh of relief when they were gone. "That was close," she said releasing the death grip she had on her gun. She grabbed her radio. "This is sierra gulf one leader. You guys have great timing. What's your situation?" Sam asked. The radio crackled with static for a few seconds before a voice came on. "We're under heavy fire. Repeat, under heavy fire. Make your way to the gate ASAP, we could use all the help we can get." Jack's voice shouted over the static of the radio. Sam could hear the sound of staff weapons being fired in the background and the answering rapport of automatic weapons fire. The feeling of relief that had washed over her when she'd heard the gunfire and the Jaffa had run off vanished instantly. "On our way sir," she replied, leaping out from the cover the trees had lent. 'What the hell is he doing here? Why hadn't he just sent backup?' She wondered, her heart in her throat. She had an awful feeling. Sam ran in the direction of the gate as fast as she could, not looking back, knowing that Daniel and Teal'c were right behind her.

* * *

Jack felt the wave of relief wash over him. So strong that he felt lightheaded. When he heard her voice on the radio he forgot that he was in the middle of a gun fight, he forgot about everything except the amazing sense of peace knowing that she was okay gave him. All the noise faded and all he could hear was the sound of her voice. 'She's okay,' his mind told him.

A staff blast hit the stone he was crouched behind sending a plume of smoke into the air where it made contact. The sounds of the conflict reached his ears again, bringing his mind back to the fight. He raised his head slightly, seeing that they had significantly diminished the number of Jaffa guarding the gate. Jack felt confident they could take the rest out with Teal'c, Daniel, and Sam's help before the Jaffa could get reinforcements mobilized. He raised his gun and fired, his aim hitting a Jaffa squarely in the chest. The bullets impacted the metal breast-plate he was wearing, giving off tiny sparks before the bullets drove through the metal and into his chest. 'Where are they?' Jack questioned, his eyes quickly scanning the tree line. Jack had a bad feeling, nagging him deep in his gut.

* * *

Sam approached the edge of the clearing cautiously. Teal'c and Daniel came to rest beside her, crouching low, assessing the situation in front of them. Sam felt tears sting her eyes as she took in the carnage that lay before her. 'So many dead.' She stared at the fallen SG members who had given their lives to try and save them and her heart ached. "There aren't too many Jaffa left," Daniel said quietly, his voice betraying his composed exterior. "We should be able to take the gate and get out of here before reinforcements show." Sam glanced at him, giving him a sad smile. She knew he felt responsible, that it was eating at him. "We need to hurry. Reinforcements are already on the way," Teal'c said springing into action as he heard a horn sound in the distance, signaling for help.

* * *

Jack heard them join the battle. He heard the surprised shouts of the Jaffa as they were attacked from behind. He shot off a round before ducking for cover as a staff blast whizzed by his head, inches from making a profound impact on him. Jack heard a steady stream of gunfire and raised his head in time to see the last Jaffa fall to the ground, the world collapsing into silence around them. Jack stood, along with the remaining members of Stargate command that had come through with him. A huge smile burst across his face.

"Damn it's good to see you guys," he shouted. Sam and Teal'c came to stand in front of him. Daniel headed straight for the DHD, punching in the address that would take them home. "Likewise sir," Sam said warmly. The wormhole connected and Daniel punched in his iris code. They hurriedly made their way towards the gate knowing there was little time before more Jaffa swarmed the area.

They had almost made it there when the first of the reinforcements broke through the tree line. "GO!" Jack shouted to the others, bringing his gun up and firing into the mob of Jaffa charging at them. He walked backwards towards the gate as fast as he could, never taking his finger off the trigger. Sam stood beside him her gun roaring.

He saw it happening a split second before; his entire world moving in slow motion. He saw a Jaffa aim his staff at Sam, saw the evil glow that sparked from it as it opened. His gun felt like it was trapped in molasses, heavy in his hands. He brought the gun up and aimed at the Jaffa's chest pumping the trigger. But it was too late, Jack saw the blast coming and did the only thing he could, he stepped in front of her. The staff blast hit him in the chest, his vest disintegrating around the wound; he fell to the ground at her feet. And the last thing Jack saw before darkness claimed him was her terrified face staring down at him.

* * *

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	7. Aftermath

**Authors Note**: For all those wondering I never really intended to go further into depth with Sam and Pete's conversation, especially since the characters have other things on their minds right now. I may do an epilogue later if anyone's really interested in their conversation, we'll see. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. Happy reading :-)

* * *

Sam watched in horror as Jack fell to the ground at her feet. She tried to scream but her throat was frozen in fear. Her gun fell from her hands, clattering to the ground unnoticed. The world seemed to be moving in slow motion as Sam sank to her knees beside him. Her hands moved unsteadily to Jacks face, one hand caressing his cheek while the other fumbled to find his pulse point. 

Sam felt her heart drop, her chest contracting painfully, her breathing shallow and pained. There was no pulse. Sam felt tears sting her eyes. She heard someone call to her, tell her to get to the gate, but she didn't care. She couldn't care, not anymore. The only thing that mattered was gone, and it was her fault. He had stepped into a shot meant for her. If she'd been a better soldier, if she'd been quicker, if she'd paid more attention, he wouldn't be lying there on the cold hard ground on some alien planet.

She should've been the one to take the hit, not him. '_Not him'_. She felt tears falling down her face. Sam lowered her head placing a small shaky kiss chastely on his lips, not caring who saw her. She lowered her head, her cheek resting on his chest. Her shoulders shook with the force of her sobs, her breathing ragged. She almost didn't hear it, almost convinced herself that it was her mind playing tricks. She listened closely, slowing her breathing. _Thump. Thump. Thump._ His heart was beating. His heartbeat was irregular, but it was there. Sam felt an overwhelming wave of relief wash over her. She raised her head and glanced around. "I need some help over here," she yelled.

* * *

Sam was the last one through the gate, firing several long bursts of gunfire to make sure Teal'c could make it through carrying Jack. As soon as she stepped through she heard someone yell the order to shut the iris. It slid quickly shut and was followed rapidly by several loud thuds as the Jaffa that had been close behind them collided with the barrier. Sam turned away from the gate. She watched as the medics rushed into the gateroom with a gurney. She felt Daniel at her side, asking if she was okay. But she barely heard anything he was saying, her attention on Teal'c as he gently lowered Jack to the gurney. She watched as the medics pushed the gurney out of the room, running alongside, Dr. Warner shouting orders as he hurriedly checked Jack's wound. 

Sam started after them, not wanting to leave Jacks side. She took a step and her head grew fuzzy, her eyesight dimming, and she stumbled a little, her legs feeling numb. Daniel caught her arm and stopped her from falling. "Are you okay Sam?" Daniel asked, his face crowded with concern. "I'm fine Daniel," she said trying to free herself from his grasp. "I have to go," she said weakly, her vision growing dark. "He needs me," Sam said before passing out, her body going limp.

* * *

The doctor ran over to the bed where Sam had been deposited only moments before. When she had collapsed in the gateroom Daniel had scooped her up in his arms and ran all the way to the infirmary, he broke through the doors yelling that she needed help. Her skin felt fevered even through the material of his shirt, her face was pale, and she was groaning constantly like she was in terrible pain. 

Daniel had never been so scared in his life. Sam was like a sister to him, they had been through so much, and he didn't know what he would do if something happened to her. He stood by her bedside protectively, Teal'c at his side. Sam was shivering, her teeth clattering together.

The doctor shouted out orders for broad spectrum antibiotics and blankets as Daniel and Teal'c stood by watching helplessly. The doctor turned to face them. "What happened to her?" She asked. "I have no idea. She was fine one minute, and the next she collapsed," Daniel answered. The doctor gave a brusque nod and turned to her nurse. "We'll need a full blood workup, head and chest films, and full body exam done stat," she ordered. "We need to catch whatever this is before it's too late."

* * *

It was dark as a tomb, though Sam could hear the noises of the infirmary all around her. She heard the steady beat of the heart monitor by her side. What had happened? The last thing that she remembered was watching the medics as they rushed Jack out of the gateroom. '_Oh god, Jack._' She had to get to him, she had to make sure he was okay. Sam tried to force herself to get up, to open her eyes, to move, but her body wouldn't respond. Panic took over, her heart beating rapidly. She tried to scream, tried to thrash, but her body remained unresponsive to her commands. Sam tried to calm down. She took several deep breaths and tried to reason with herself. '_At least I can breathe,'_ she told herself. _'I just need to stay calm, try and figure this out,'_ she reasoned.

* * *

Daniel scrubbed his hands over his face, stretching as a yawn broke from his mouth. His mind had been constantly turning, even while he slept. His two best friends on this, or any other planet, were in serious trouble. And there was nothing he could do about it. Jack had been in surgery for over nine hours, there had been no news except that it was touch and go. Sam was still unconscious, no one knew exactly what was wrong with her, which was more frightening then Daniel would admit. He'd sat beside her for hours, his weariness winning as he fell into an uncomfortable slumber sitting in the chair at her bedside.

* * *

A nurse woke Daniel from his restless sleep when she spoke, her voice loud and jarring. He opened his eyes to see the nurse standing beside Sam's bed, glancing between Sam and the monitor she was hooked to. "Colonel Carter, can you hear me?" The nurse inquired. There was no response from Sam. Daniel got to his feet. "What's going on?" He asked the nurse worriedly. "I'm not sure Dr. Jackson. I'm going to get the doctor," she said hurrying off. 

Moments later she returned with the doctor. The doctor looked at the monitor quickly before pulling a penlight from her pocket. "What's happening?" Daniel asked as he watched the doctor shine the light first in Sam's left then right eye. She talked to Sam, asked if she could move her arm, her foot, open her eyes, but there was no response. The doctor took hold of Sam's arm and raised it until it was suspended in the air, asking Sam to try and keep it elevated. She released the arm and it fell quickly back to Sam's side.

The doctor breathed a deep sigh, turning to face Daniel. "Colonel Carter is awake," she answered, her voice solemn. Daniel just looked at her. "Okay," he said slowly. "What's going on?" He asked. "There seems to be a significant loss of control in her muscle functions," she paused, allowing him to process the information. Daniel just stared at her in disbelief. "Are you saying ..." His voice trailed off, not wanting to voice what his head already knew. The doctor nodded faintly. "She appears to be paralyzed."

* * *

Teal'c stood outside the door to the room where the doctors were operating. No one would ever be able to tell by looking at him, but Teal'c was scared. O' Neill was like a brother to him, there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for him, he'd give his life if it could save him. He wasn't used to being helpless. He was used to fighting, being in control. But there was nothing he could do, only wait to see whether he would live or die. 

The doors to the OR swung open and Dr Warner walked out, pulling his mask down from his face. When he looked up he noticed Teal'c and walked over to him. "We've got him stabilized for now. However he's sustained some serious injuries. We've put him into a medically induced coma to give his body a chance to heal itself." Teal'c just looked at the doctor, one eyebrow raised, his head tilted to the side, a bewildered look on his face. Dr Warner gave him a tired smile. "He's resting now, but he should be fine," Warner said simply. Teal'c gave a short nod, the corners of his lips lifting in a small smile. "That is good to hear."

* * *

'_Paralyzed.' _Daniel couldn't believe what he'd heard. This wasn't possible. This couldn't be happening. He stared down at Sam, her body unmoving, her eyes firmly closed. He couldn't imagine what was going through her head. Trapped in her own body, unable to move or speak. It must be a nightmare. "We're going to figure this out Sam," Daniel promised. "I know it's hard but just hang in there." Daniel took a deep breath, not knowing what to tell her about Jack, but knowing she must be going out of her mind worrying about him. "There's not much news about Jack yet. Tealc's over there right now. I'm sure he's going to be fine Sam, so don't worry."

* * *

Sam heard every word Daniel spoke echo through her. She knew that he was trying to help her stay calm, and she silently thanked him. Between trying to figure out what had happened that caused her body to become paralyzed, and worrying about how Jack was doing, her brain had been working overtime. If anything happened to Jack, she would never be able to forgive herself. 

She had overreacted, treated him like he'd done something wrong. Had she really expected him not to have someone in his life? Had she really expected him to spend the rest of his life in solitude because they couldn't be together? She had no right to be angry with him for being with someone when she had done the same thing. The thought of Jack with someone else caused her heart to seize in pain. Was this what it had been like for him? All these years, seeing her with other men? Had she caused him this much pain? She felt tears pool in her eyes, running down her cheeks, unable to do anything to stop them from falling.

* * *

The doctor came rushing into the infirmary waving an x-ray at Daniel. "I think we may have found the cause of the Colonel's paralysis," she declared, her face triumphant.

* * *

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	8. Aliens, Operations, & Surprises … Oh my!

Authors Note: Okay, just to clarify this ahead of time. I am _not_ a medical writer, or doctor. I do not know if the medical scene later in this chapter is factual, or feasible. That being said, I have tried to research and make it as accurate as possible. It's my first medical scene, so bear with me. Thanks to all of you for all the reviews and support.

One more chapter to go.

* * *

Daniel stared at the x-ray, now lit from behind, his mind not wanting to believe what his eyes were confirming to be true. 

"That thing," he began, his voice unsteady. "That thing is inside her?"

He couldn't help the fear that crept into his mind, clutching at his heart. Sam was one of his best friends, and she was in some very serious danger. And he couldn't do anything to save her.

"I'm afraid so," Dr. Lam said, eyeing him with concern.

"Okay," Daniel said with a deep sigh. "What can we do?"

"Colonel Carter's best option here is surgery," the doctor informed him, taking a deep breath.

"However, there are some concerns because of the location of the organism. It's in a very dangerous position. It has lodged itself at the base of her brain, the liana are wrapped around her spine and appear to be contracting. There are some serious risks to consider."

Daniel only half heard the doctor.

'How the hell did this happen?'

Daniel walked slowly to Sam's side, taking her hand in his, squeezing it lightly. He knew that she had heard his conversation with the doctor, and he knew that there was nothing he could say that would alleviate the fears he knew would be coursing through her.

He didn't want to make this decision for her. By all rights he shouldn't even be the one making it. Daniel closed his eyes tightly and clung to Sam's hand, dreading to speak the words that were about to exit his mouth. He knew his decision could affect the rest of her life, and the reality of that made him feel like he was going to be sick.

"Do the surgery," he said in a small voice. "Do whatever it takes."

* * *

Sam was petrified, both literally and figuratively. She wasn't used to admitting when something scared her, even to herself. But she was terrified. 

She felt a cold chill creep up her spine as she listened to the conversation between Daniel and Dr. Lam. She heard the fear in the woman's voice, felt the dread roll off of Daniel in waves.

If the surgery went wrong, there were so many things she would regret. She'd put it off for so long, telling the people most important in her life how she felt about them. She felt the panic rising fast. She'd thought there would be more time.

Daniel and Teal'c were like her brothers, two of her best friends, and she'd never told them. What if they didn't know? Sam felt the tears begin to pool in her eyes, felt her throat constricting painfully. And Jack. She'd never get to see him again, talk to him again.

Tears streamed down her face, forcing their way past her ineffectual eyelids. She cried for all the things that might be lost, all the time wasted.

* * *

Daniel watched the painful display. He saw her emotions clearly, though her expression never changed. Her face was peaceful, relaxed. But Daniel knew that inside she was anything but. His heart felt heavy, his hand reaching out to wipe the tears away. 

"You're going to be fine Sam. Don't worry," he soothed, his voice more calm than he felt.

* * *

Teal'c sat in silent vigil at O'Neill's bedside. Teal'c watched his friend, his mind spinning with emotion and memories. 

Jack O'Neill had opened up a whole new galaxy of possibilities to him. He'd fought side by side with him to rescue his family from the hands of Apophis. O'Neill had refused to give up on him, even when Teal'c had given up on himself. He was like a brother to Teal'c, and he would stay beside him no matter what.

* * *

Daniel walked beside the bed as they wheeled Sam through the corridor. He held her hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. The bed stopped and Daniel looked up in surprise. They had arrived quicker than expected. 

Daniel looked up at the nurse and asked, "Give us a minute?" The nurse nodded and walked down the hall a few steps, leaning against the wall to wait.

Daniel leaned closer to Sam. "Sam, you're going into surgery in a few minutes," he told her quietly.

"Before you do, I thought you might like to check in on Jack," he said releasing her hand.

He opened the door wide and pushed the bed through into Jack's room.

Teal'c turned his head at the sound. Seeing his friends he rose to his feet and joined Daniel at Sam's side. They moved the bed until Sam and Jack were parallel to each other. Daniel reached across Sam and lifted her hand, bringing it over to rest on Jack's.

"He's going to be okay Sam," Daniel spoke softly.

"He's going to make it. So you have to too."

Teal'c looked down at her, his friend, in some ways the sister he'd never had. She was so still, so silent, he'd never seen her like that.

He saw the tracks that marked the path her tears had taken, his heart aching for her. He would do anything if it meant sparing her pain. But for all his strength, and all his capabilities, he couldn't do anything to help her.

Instinctually Jack's hand moved, turning over and grasping her hand in his. Both Daniel and Teal'c stared in disbelief and shock.

"That's not possible," Daniel whispered looking down at Jack's sleeping form.

He expected to see some change, something to explain the sudden movement. But everything was the same as it had been.

Jack laid there, still in a coma, perfectly still, his hand clasped tightly around Sam's.

* * *

Sam felt his hand grab hers, and if she had been able to she would have jumped in surprise. She hadn't expected that. 

Daniel had been keeping her apprised of Jack's condition, so she knew that he was in a medical coma. His hand curved around hers, warm and comforting, and she felt instantly at ease.

* * *

After a few minutes the nurse came in, followed by Dr. Lam and Dr. Warner dressed in green hospital scrubs. 

"We really can't delay the surgery any longer," Dr. Warner told them quietly. Daniel nodded.

"You'll be fine Sam," Daniel called as they wheeled Sam out of the room.

"You'll be fine," he repeated quietly, desperately trying to convince himself.

* * *

Dr. Warner stood, his blade poised over Colonel Carter's spine, ready to make the first incision. 

He was surrounded by a team of nurses and assisted by Dr. Lam, a more than capable doctor, but he still felt an odd sense of foreboding settle over him.

He'd never been unsure about an operation; he'd always been more than confident in his abilities, able to predict the outcome of a surgical procedure to a reasonable certainty, until now.

This was a delicate surgery and so much could go wrong, it was enough to give anyone pause. Add to it that it was an alien organism growing inside her, and any doctor would be fearful of the operation.

He took a deep breath and pressed the scalpel down, slicing through skin.

* * *

Daniel sat in his office, mindlessly sifting through several artifacts that had been discovered on a recent mission. 

He sighed, putting the items back on the table, unable to make his mind focus on anything.

Teal'c walked into his office, his hands clasped behind his back, a troubled expression on his face.

"Hey Teal'c," Daniel said glancing at his friend.

"What's up?" He asked picking up a pyramid shaped artifact, trying once again to immerse himself in his work.

"I believe O'Neill is in trouble," Teal'c answered.

Daniel's head shot up, the forgotten artifact hanging limply from his hand.

"What happened?"

* * *

"I need more suction," Dr. Lam called. 

The surgery had been ongoing for a little over an hour. Dr. Lam was tired, sweat pooling on her forehead. She'd never been part of any procedure that had been this involved.

Dr. Warner had some experience in this area, or so she had been told, that's why she had asked him to scrub in. She wasn't too proud to admit when she needed help.

"Hang another bag of o-neg," Dr. Warner instructed.

"I need more traction, and we need more light in here." The nurses rushed to execute the doctor's directives. Light blazed around them within seconds.

"All right, I'm making the first incision. Separating the primary ganglia attaching the parasite to the spinal cord now." Dr. Warner cut into the organism.

"Give me some suction here."

"It's coming away more easily than I'd hoped. The ganglia are contracting periodically. Scissors."

Dr. Warner takes a deep breath, steadying himself before continuing. "There are thin threads extending up into the brain. I'm going to sever them."

The work was tedious and delicate. They had been working for nearly an hour just unwinding the creature when it happened.

"Her BP just spiked," a nurse called out. "BP 173 over 112."

Dr. Lam's eyes swung quickly to the monitor then back to the patient on the table.

"What the hell happened?" She muttered, her eyes quickly scanning for mistakes.

"Push one of EPI." Dr Lam looks up, catching Dr. Warner's worried eyes, before shifting her focus back to Colonel Carter, just in time to see her begin to seize.

* * *

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	9. All's Well That Ends Well

Author's Note: Thank you all for your wonderful support/reviews.

Happy reading.

* * *

Dr. Lam's eyes searched, looking for bleeders, severed cords, anything that would explain the seizure that had unexpectedly started then stopped just as quickly. She looked up, seeing Dr. Warner also assessing the reason for the unexpected movement. 

He shook his head slightly, there was no explanation.

"The organism is almost detached. I don't see any damage. I'm going to continue the operation. I'm beginning to cut the last few ganglia," he said, his voice holding a modicum of concern. He cut into one of the thicker ganglion and immediately a thick black liquid began filling the spinal canal and Colonel Carter's heart rate plummeted.

"Damn it!" Warner cursed. "I need suction over here. Get as much of this fluid out of here as possible," he instructed. "I'm going to get this thing out of her as fast as I can."

* * *

Daniel looked down at Jack's sleeping form in disbelief. 

It was medically impossible.

Jack had been moving, thrashing to be more exact. Teal'c had told him that Jack had been restless, even impatient in his movements.

Daniel had raced to Jack's side, not truly believing what Teal'c had said until he saw it for himself. Daniel stood slack jawed, for the first time in a long time not being able to find the words.

"_Sam."_ Daniel's eyes snapped to Jack's face.

"Did he just say …" Daniel began.

"_Sam,"_ Jack moaned, the sound barely a whisper.

* * *

"Her heart rate is decreasing," the nurse said worriedly, her eyes never leaving the monitors rapidly decreasing numbers. 

"More suction," Warner cried, trying to cut the last thread holding the creature to Colonel Carter's spine.

"I've almost got it," he grunted. "It's trying to hold on." He looked up briefly, catching Dr. Lam's eye. "Get ready to cut on my mark."

Dr. Lam nodded grabbing the scissors off the tray and clutching them in her hand. Dr. Warner lifted the creature, exposing the last of the creature's feelers.

"Cut," he shouted to Dr. Lam.

She severed the organism's hold and Dr. Warner lifted it into the waiting container, snapping the lid shut.

They all turned to look at the monitor, each one holding their breaths to see what direction the Colonel would take. Doctor's and nurses alike breathed a collective sigh when the numbers on the screen evened out.

"Alright," Dr. Warner said feeling a tremendous amount of relief flood through him. "Would you close Dr. Lam?"

* * *

Jack lay motionless, his expression peaceful. If Daniel hadn't seen the events that had happened only moments ago, he would never have believed it. 

Jack had been frenzied, calling out for Sam with increased volume. His thrashing so intense that he'd ripped the IV right from his arm.

Daniel and Teal'c had to physically restrain him, afraid that he might harm himself. As abruptly as his outburst had started it stopped.

Daniel looked up at Teal'c, bewildered. "What just happened?"

* * *

"BP's holding steady, heart rates normal," the nurse reported. 

Dr. Warner smiled. "Good work everyone."

Dr. Lam pulled the last stitch closed and let out a long held sigh of relief. She pulled off her mask and gloves, turning towards the door.

"You did magnificent work Dr. Lam," Warner called out as she was leaving. She turned back to face him, her eyes wet with tears, and gave him a short nod before turning on her heel and exiting.

* * *

Jack groaned, raising his hand to his head. "Ouch," he grumbled hoarsely. His head felt like it had survived a run in with a cement wall, and his arm throbbed painfully. "How are you feeling General O'Neill?" Dr. Lam asked, leaning over the bed, shining her penlight in his eyes. He waved her away impatiently. "I'm fine," he groused. 

"What happened?" Jack questioned.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Daniel asked.

"I went to the planet, to rescue you guys …" Jack said, his voice trailing off.

"Do you remember anything that happened after you got there?" Daniel coaxed.

Jack swallowed. "I remember a firefight with a bunch of Jaffa," he answered, his eyes closing briefly. He clenched his teeth as pain shot through his chest.

Memories suddenly darted through his mind. He saw and felt everything he had on the planet. It all came rushing back into focus with alarming clarity.

His eyes snapped open. "I remember," he said softly. "Damn Jaffa shot me," he grit out, his voice growing rough with anger.

Daniel smiled.

"Nice to have you back Jack. You gave us quite a scare there," Daniel confessed.

"It is indeed good to see you well again O' Neill," Teal'c agreed stepping closer to the bed.

"Any excuse to get out of paperwork," Jack joked, smiling distractedly at his friends, his eyes searching the room for her. Not finding her his eyes settled back on Daniel.

"Where's Carter?"

* * *

Against the strongly voiced objections of the doctors Jack climbed out of bed. 

His legs protested at the sudden weight as he stood, his legs wobbled nearly sending him to his knees. Teal'c caught him, his reflexes lightning fast, and helped him to his feet.

"Jack, maybe you should take it easy," Daniel appealed. "Sam's fine."

Jack shook his head. "I don't need to take it easy. I need to get out of this damned room," he responded irritably, taking a few trembling steps.

* * *

He sat beside her bed, his eyes locked on her face. He was still processing what Daniel had told him about what had happened. He was furious that he hadn't been there for her. She had gone through hell and he slept right through it. 

"I'm sorry Sam," he whispered to her, gripping her hand in his.

He heard someone come up behind him and clear their throat.

"Excuse me sir," a voice said.

Jack turned his head a little and saw that the voice belonged to a mousy Liuetenant whose nametag read O' Halen.

"What is it?" He asked, his tone hostile, making it abundantly clear he didn't want to be bothered.

"I'm sorry sir, but there are some men here from Washington. They're in your office," she said in a small voice before turning and hastily retreating.

Jack sighed, a deep heavy sigh.

He knew he'd have to answer for the actions he'd taken. He just hadn't thought that it would happen so quickly. He'd expected to have more time.

He held on to her hand, pulling it to his lips he gave it a quick kiss before dropping it to her side. Jack rose to his feet, resigning himself to the fate he knew awaited him in his office.

* * *

Sam woke, groggy and disoriented. Her eyes felt heavy, her body throbbed with pain, and her mouth felt like it was filled with cotton. She slowly forced her eyes open, smiling slightly when she found that she could. She saw Daniel and Teal'c by her side and her smile brightened. 

"Hey guys," she croaked, her head protesting intensely to the sound. She groaned loudly. "Bad headache," she whispered, struggling to get herself into a sitting position. Daniel placed a hand on her elbow, gently helping her sit up.

"How are you feeling Colonel Carter?" Teal'c asked.

Sam raised her arm experimentally, bringing her hand in front of her face then dropping it back down to her side. "Much better," she told him with a small smile.

She looked up at Daniel. "How's General O' Neill doing?" Sam asked hoping she didn't sound as desperate as she felt.

Daniel exchanged a look with Teal'c and Sam's heart fell into her stomach.

"What?" She asked, her voice worried. "What happened?"

"Maybe it's better if we tell you when you're feeling better," Daniel evaded her question. Her heart was beating so fast in her stomach and she felt like she might be sick. Her head felt dizzy and she was weak with apprehension.

"Just tell me Daniel," she pleaded, her eyes moist with tears.

"Jack's gone," he told her.

Daniel saw the panic spread across her face. He heard the sharp intake of breath, witness her eyes fill with shimmering tears, and realized he'd chosen the wrong words.

"No Sam," he said quickly. "He's fine, he came out of the coma just fine. Clean bill of health," he said.

Sam breathed a sigh of relief, suddenly feeling weaker than before.

"Then where is he?" Daniel took a deep breath before continuing.

"He retired."

* * *

Jack sat on the dock, trying to untangle hopelessly tangled fishing wire. After a few more failed attempts he gave up, throwing the fishing line to the ground with a snort. 

"You left," her voice called. He turned to see her approaching, sheilding his eyes against the sun.

"You didn't even say goodbye. I just woke up and you weren't there," Sam said, her voice tinged with sadness.

Jack raised the beer to his lips, taking a long pull off it. "Yeah, sorry 'bout that," he said evenly. He downed the rest of his beer and stood up, heading for the cabin to get another one, Sam following him.

"What happened? Why did you retire?"

He stopped in his tracks, his back to her, and he heard her stop too. Jack didn't want to have this conversation.

"I was just tired of all of it. I was never cut out to run things," he said.

He could almost hear her shaking her head. "I don't buy it sir," she said quietly.

Jack chuckled, a sad smile kissing his lips. "Drop the sir Sam. I'm retired," he said softly.

"Why?" She asked coming up close behind him.

"Why Jack?" She put her hand on his arm, gently urging him to look at her.

He turned and looked into her eyes. She saw it there in his eyes, the truth unspoken, the truth she should have seen but had been blind to.

"They asked you to," she said, the reality hitting her like a semi.

"Because of the rescue mission," she stated pulling her hand from his arm.

"Because of me," she whispered.

Jack took a step forward, closing the distance she was slowly putting between them.

"No! It was because of my decisions. Because I went against direct orders one too many times," he said grabbing her shoulders.

"Look at me Sam," he prodded gently. She raised her eyes to meet his.

"This is not your fault. I made those decisions. _I_ did. And if I had it to do over, knowing the consequences, I wouldn't change anything," he said tenderly.

He looked down at her, a spark of humor flashing in his eyes. "Except maybe, getting shot. That, I'd do over. That hurt like hell," he said flashing her a smile.

Sam smiled up at him, her hands molding themselves against his chest. She looked down, her hand only inches from the shot that had almost cost him his life. The smile slipped from her face. She traced the spot with her fingers, tears springing into her eyes.

"You really scared me," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "When I saw that staff blast hit you…," she said, her voice choking with emotion. "And I couldn't find a pulse," she said, her voice breaking.

"Come 'mere," he said pulling her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. Sam felt the tears streaming down her face.

"_I love you so much sir_," she whispered breathily.

The words she whispered, so quietly he almost hadn't heard her, sent tremors of happiness through him. He pulled back, gazing into her eyes.

"I love you too Sam," he said lovingly, a smile ticking at the corners of his lips. "But could we lose the sir?"

Sam smiled brilliantly. "Absolutely … sir," she said in mock-sincerity, her eyes dancing with amusement.

Jack pulled her to him, their faces only inches apart.

"_Colonel," _he said warningly. "Don't make me discipline you," he cautioned cheekily.

"Promises, promises," Sam grumbled as Jack pulled her face to his, capturing her lips in an intense kiss, all the pent up emotions of the last eight years boiling to the surface.

* * *

**END**

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	10. Epilogue

Author's Note: I want to thank you all for your wonderful reviews, and taking the time to read this story. I also want to apologize to all of you who thought the ending was rushed. I hope this makes up for it. Happy reading.

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Jack's eyes never once left her, traveling with her every step she took down the aisle. He had known, all those years ago, the first time he'd laid eyes on her. He knew he was going to fall, so fast and so far he'd never be able to find his way out. She was everything he'd always convinced himself he never deserved, eternally damning himself to pay penance for his son's death. 

He watched her now, every footfall bringing her closer to him, every step urging him closer to contentment.

His mind was encased in a hazy fog, none of this seeming real to him. They'd danced around each other for eight long years, denying themselves what they really wanted, denying there was anything more than a close friendship between them. And now the dance had stopped, they no longer had to pretend they wanted anything else.

He shook his head, his mind clearing, a small smile playing across his lips.

* * *

Sam watched him, her arm nestled in the crook of General Hammond's as she walked down the aisle, and felt a momentary stab of sadness for the people who couldn't be here. She thought of her father and Janet, who had both died earlier that year, and tears sprang into her eyes. 

She missed them.

She pushed those thoughts aside, focusing instead on the man ahead of her. Her eyes locked with his and she smiled.

She had fought so hard, the road long and twisted, to fight her feelings for him. He'd surprised her; she'd never expected to fall in love with her CO. It had started almost as soon as they'd met, and before she knew what was happening she was tumbling head over heels unable or unwilling to stop her descent.

Sam reached his side, her eyes still locked with his. Her hand sought his, grasping it tightly.

* * *

Daniel watched them, two of his best friends on this or any other planet. He stood at Sam's side, her man of honor. They'd become fast friends from the moment they'd met, their bond only strengthening as the years passed. Daniel had known, even back then, the feelings that were brewing between her and Jack. 

He smiled as they recited their vows, Sam's eyes misting over as she recited hers, his heart filled with happiness.

Daniel's smile swelled, his whole face lighting with it as the minister pronounced Sam and Jack husband and wife.

* * *

Teal'c stood beside O' Neill, his heart clenching tightly in his chest. He'd fought in countless battles, lost many good friends, and he'd never felt anything like he did now. He felt tears form in his eyes, and turned away quickly, ashamed of what he felt. 

He had been honored when O' Neill had asked him to stand beside him during the union ceremony, he and Colonel Carter two of the most important people to him in the galaxy. He felt a hand come down on his shoulder. "Everyone's emotional at weddings Teal'c. Nothing to be ashamed of," Daniel quietly assured him, coming to stand beside him as he watched the happy couple run down the aisle.

_

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_

Eight Months Later ...

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Sam moaned, his fingers magic on her skin. "Yes," she hissed, her head falling back as her eyes closed in pleasure. "Oh yeeessss. Right there," she whimpered.

Jack smiled devilishly and looked up at his wife. "Sam, I think you're making Daniel uncomfortable," he said with a smirk, looking over his shoulder at the rapidly reddening Daniel Jackson.

"Me? No. No," Daniel assured them shaking his head, suddenly finding the beer he'd been nursing very interesting.

Jack chuckled. "For cryin' out loud Daniel," he said dropping his wife's feet, "it's just a massage."

Sam lifted her head and smiled at him, her hands coming to rest on her swollen belly. Her eyes widened and her mouth formed a perfect O shape. "Jack," she called to her husband. "Give me your hand," she demanded reaching for him. "She's kicking again," Sam said, holding his hand in place.

Jack sat beside Sam, their daughter kicking his hand, a massive smile covering his face, feeling like he was the luckiest man in the galaxy. And for the first time in more years than he'd care to admit, he was complete.

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